Well heart burn and e-mails from sweet friends have beckoned me at 4:00 a.m. this morning to finally sit down and write an update. I am sorry I have been so bad about this. I know that I get so anxious when I haven't heard from someone or seen an update in a while but when it comes to me I don't think about it. I was forced to find a better balance between my "blog" time and actually getting some stuff done for my family, but it's also come at the price of not letting my prayer warriors know what is going on with me and also not being able to reach out to new people who may be struggling and keeping in touch with those who have traveled the road with me. Know that there is not a day that goes by that I do not pray over all of Mary Grace's sweet friends and their families and what is going on with them now. Also know that if you have reached out to me and I haven't returned the touch, that you are in my heart and in my prayers.
It is so incredibly heart breaking when I hear of a new person who has or will have to let go of their precious baby. And I can not imagine not having this engine to connect and heal with people who truly understand what you are going through, even if grieving it differently. And even having those dedicated prayer warriors that have simply been led to you by God with no common connection is a wonderful reminder of how God provides us with what we need to get through the days (thank you Laurie!!).
Well.....my scheduled date to have Baby Summons is 4/9/09!! So two weeks and I will have baby #4 in my arms. I have changed the office to a baby room, a storage room to an office and have painted the walls a nice neutral yellow. Other than that the room is still pretty bare. I haven't really been able to get myself to buy anything in preparation which makes my mind go crazy at times wondering why? Is there something really wrong? Is something preparing me for heart ache? Everything has been going really well at my doctor's visits....no signs of anything wrong....no "markers" - yikes I still hate that word. The baby is moving around wonderfully and I enjoy every kick and roll. I day dream about coming home Easter morning with this new precious baby and it brings pure joy to my heart. But...there is always the thought of not having sweet Mary Grace to be waiting behind the doors to welcome her brother or sister home along with Kailey and Allison. She is always with me but the void is always there in every thought, every action, every preparation.....but without that void, there wouldn't have been her. So...I will take it with thanksgiving in my heart!!
99 out of 100 people have said this baby is a boy...so we will soon see. It's funny my one friend said "you are all belly this time your hips haven't spread - it's for sure a boy" and I say, "well I would hope they wouldn't spread anymore...they never went back to normal after Mary Grace". I went to a movie the other night and I thought I will soon have to buy two seats if this baby doesn't come soon:) People ask do you feel different? Well considering I was 35 lbs heavier getting pregnant this time, older and have been pregnant for 2 years.....You betcha I feel different.....ha ha - so does that mean a boy? We will see. I covet your prayers for a safe healthy entrance for this precious baby. I ask that you continue to pray for me to have the peace I need to fully enjoy all that this baby brings to me and my family. I already feel your prayers covering me as I have gotten several e-mails asking for an update. Thank you for continuing to pray and to check on me. I promise to give an update as soon as sweet baby Summons enters this world.
So...you ask am I ready? I have a car seat, bassinet and the hospital will surely have diapers....so yes, I am so ready!!:)
God's Blessing to all my sweet bloggers!!
Please also say a prayer for Kristy Bolte and the sweet baby girl in her tummy today. http://babybolte.blogspot.com/
P.S. For those of you who watched the Extreme Home Makeover...thank you for your sweet comments. I was so proud of my Mary Grace....yet another reminder of what my sweet girl accomplished!!