Monday, January 28, 2008

Tristan Asher Hostetter

It is with such a heavy heart that I write to inform all my wonderful family and friends of Tristan's homecoming with the Lord. I wallowed in bed this morning trying to have most of the day pass before I had to get up to reality and when I went in the kitchen to a cup of coffee from Mom, she informed me of the news.
Tristan had a really good day yesterday and his Daddy noticed that things were not going well so Yvette made it home in time and Tristan passed away at 4:40 pm. He lived 56 wonderful days. I am so thankful for the time his family had but know this must be so difficult to let him go. I ask that you especially pray for Tristan's brothers as they adored their little miracle brother. Our children are so precious and to see them hurt is so very difficult - ask that God gives them the understanding they need.
Please pray for this family. Only God can give them what it takes to make it through this.
With love,

Thursday, January 24, 2008

How am I?

Besides the day I had to give Mary Grace to the Lord, this has been my hardest day yet. I guess with the pain meds, traveling to Kentucky and making preparations, my mind was somewhat distracted from the loss – the realness of it all. Now that I am back home and still recovering from surgery (which is a peace of cake compared to the emotional) I have time to reflect on what has happened.

How can I be a Mother of three, giving birth to three babies and only have 2 running around here? What on earth has happened? I find myself starring at pictures of Mary Grace to realize she was real. I sat at the computer today with a picture pulled up of Mary grace to the largest degree and traced my mouse over her every detail in hopes I could feel her on my finger tips – to no avail. I asked my Mom the question today whether she thought it would be harder to lose a baby or a grown child. Of course the answer is either would be too much for anyone to bear. I thought for sure my answer would be a child I have got to know and raise –but after losing Mary Grace and in reading one woman’s story who buried her 22 year old daughter, who was helping a person with the loss of an infant said she thought it would be tougher to lose an infant because she got to know her daughter, experience her, go through all her “firsts”. It seems true to me right now…but of course losing any child is unbearable and not comparable at all to the other. I went to Wal-Mart today for the first time, it stunk……every child I saw I wondered what Mary Grace would be like at that age. I was not in need of any baby supplies like I should be. I will NEVER get to pack Mary up in an infant car seat and take her to Wal-Mart for everyone to ooh and aahh over. When Kailey Mae was little, EVERYONE stopped me and commented on her….she was totally bald, ears that perfectly stuck out with the biggest blue eyes ever. Everyone talked about her big beautiful blue eyes. Then Allison was so chubby that everyone stopped me and wanted to pinch her rolls. How awesome it is to show off your angels. How I ache to take Mary Grace to the mall in a nice new stroller and diaper bag and have people tell me how PERFECT her nose is. Man she has the most perfect nose I have ever seen. And if for an instant she leaves my thought, my milk lets down and reminds me she is nowhere for me to pick her up and feed her. Oh how I loved breast-feeding Kailey and Allison. I will never have that with my sweet precious Mary Grace.

Kailey must be feeling the same as me. She has had several sad moments lately. Pray for her heart. She said tonight while crying that she knew Mary is in a better more fun place but she missed her and wanted her. We cried together and I told her I felt the same way. Although I know Mary Grace is in a better place and happier than we can imagine, I WANT HER back!!! And I told Kailey that God could not have given us such a perfect gift, then take her to be with him and expect us to not be sad or even mad about it sometimes. He is our Father – he knows….he felt the same way when he watched people torment his only Son, spit in his face, beat him – he knows this heartache. I think she felt better knowing that it’s okay for her to want Mary Grace to be with us and not in Heaven.

It was my 10th year wedding anniversary today. We watched our wedding video with Mom and the girls. We have had some trials in our 10 years…a bad car accident where we could have lost Chris and it took him 6 months to recover from, a loss of a baby early in pregnancy and losing Mary Grace. But I could not mention the hard things without telling of HIS blessing upon us as well. We have a beautiful marriage (normal stuff of course) but man do we love each other, we have had three beautiful children, two who are still with us and are PERFECT for us, hand picked for us to love, a beautfiul home, a wonderful family and the list could go on and on. I love Chris more than ever and could not imagine having anyone else by my side.

But the day ends in sadness like every one for a while I suspect. I walk past my mirror and see that my belly is no longer pregnant and holding Mary Grace, and then I realize she is not in the other room in a bassinet instead of my belly. She is not sitting in a bouncy seat waiting for me to feed her. Oh my sweet Jesus help me!!!

I love my Lord but the verse that comes to mind tonight in closing this day is…
“My God My God, why have you abandoned me? Why so far from my call for help, from my cries of anguish? My God, I call by day, but you do not answer; by night, but I have no relief.” (Ps.22:2-3)

As I go to bed tonight, I will pray the prayer I have prayed every night but have yet been granted. This is that God would take me to Mary Grace in my dreams, let me hold her the whole night, let me feel her on my skin. Please pray this for me. I need it. She went to be with the Lord on Jan 14th 2:15 p.m. I held her that day and slept with her that night with her face against mine the whole night, I had her until around 1:30 on the 15th. That was one of the best nights of my life. Oh how I love my Mary Grace, I long for her and feel no relief.

This is how I feel my sweet friends who are asking and caring and loving me/us. I am finding it hard to talk to anyone on the phone – I am sorry. E-mail is good right now. It’s easier for me. I love you all and thank you for understanding. Everyone who has and is signed up for meals, thank you – I can’t tell you how lifting that burden of “what’s for dinner?” has helped my Mom and me. Thank You.

With love,Kim

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Update on Kenzie and Baby Maddox

Hi, I just received an e-mail from Yvette (Tristan's Mom) that Kenzie had Maddox today around 4:30. He opened his eyes then closed them and went to be with Jesus. I tell you friends, my heart breaks all over again for this sweet baby and Mommy and Daddy and Brother. We know they are in heaven with Jesus but I want them to so desperately to be with us.
Pray for this family, for time to love on Maddox and not feel pressured about time with him and his sweet earthly body. Praise Jesus that her family made it there in time. Praise God for bringing all these sweet Mommies into my life - without them, I just do not know what I would do so I am thankful.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Pray for Kenzie and Baby Maddox

Hi Friends,
I have about 2 minutes to try to update here. I am in the Lexington Kentucky airport going back home. I have been at Mom's for the last 5 days and have had no signal or access to the Internet. I had a few minutes to log in on Chris' computer at the airport to check e-mail. I received an e-mail today at around 4:00 that Kenzie has been admitted into the hospital and is having contractions and will probably have baby Maddox tonight. She was originally scheduled to be induced on Feb. 4th. Her husband is out of town on business and is trying to get home. I am in shock for them as I know how scary things must be. Please pray without ceasing to this family. They do not have family near them either and they were all going to be able to come in for the delivery in Feb. They are trying to contact everyone and get them there. Oh how my heart goes out to them - it's difficult enough without all of this. But we know God's hand is in control and his plan is perfect - so just pray for them and for peace during this difficult time.
Will try to update more later......gotta board the plane.
Love to all!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Services for Mary Grace Summons

We were blessed for a short time with an angel on earth. Mary Grace was born on January 14, 2008 at 7:15 a.m. and became a true angel at 2:15 p.m. Our short time with Mary was filled with celebration, laughs, tears of joy and sorrow. Her short time on earth touched thousands of lives in ways we will never fully understand. We thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers over the last couple of months. They have really helped our family through a difficult time in our lives.

The following information is for the funeral services for Mary Grace, which will take place on January 19th:

Alum Springs 1st Church of God 3758 Alum Springs Rd
Danville, KY
(859) 236-4859
Visitation hours – 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.
Funeral service – 1:00 p.m.

Buffalo Springs Cemetery
630 Hustonville Rd (Hwy. 78)
Stanford, KY 40484
(606) 365-0030
Short burial service 2:00 p.m. – 2:15 p.m.

There will be a gathering of friends and family back at the church after the cemetery
In an effort to continue the good that Mary Grace was able to achieve we would appreciate that donations be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital instead of flowers or gifts. One can mail, call or make a contribution to her account on-line.

To call: Dial 1-800-822-6344 and tell them what you would like to donate and give them the tribute number (20487132).

To mail, send to: St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
Attn: Tributes Department
501 St. Jude Place
Memphis, TN 38105
Make checks payable to: St. Jude Children's Research Hospital In memo section, note the tribute number (20487132) or write: In memory of Mary Grace Summons

To do it on-line: Go to '' with the tribute number (20487132)

We continue to appreciate everyone’s prayer, love and support as our family continues through this journey.

Monday, January 14, 2008

We were able to hold an angel

Mary Grace getting her first bath

Sweet Mary Grace

Mary Grace Update

This is Kim's sister Amanda and she wanted me to type an update for everybody about precious Mary Grace.
This morning, Kim went back to do the c-section around 6:45 and Mary Grace was born at 7:15. She was so beautiful and perfect. She weighed 3 pounds 9 ounces.All of Kim's friends and family came in and out and got the chance to hold and see Mary Grace. She was so strong and was breathing so good. Allison got to help change the first diaper and both Kailey and Allison got the chance to help with the first bath.We got to spend 7 precious hours with her and then Jesus took her at about 2:15. The "Now I lay me down to sleep" photographer just left and right now Kim is holding Mary Grace.
Everybody continue to pray for Kim, Chris, the girls and the rest of the family during this very hard time. It was a very wonderful, blessed time with Mary Grace, and we are so thankful that God allowed us some time with Mary. She was our "little angel on earth."
Good Monday Morning,
It's dark in the room (Chris is trying to sleep) but I wanted to give a quick update - can't see the keyboard so forgive mispellings.
We got here last night around 9:00. Had a few friends waiting to greet us and yes...we were late. One friend said I knew you would be late to even have your own baby!! haha.

Started everything and the nurse went to examine me before giving the medicine and she thought that the baby had turned back to breach. So....she had to call the Dr. and he came in around 11:00 to do an ultrasound and confirmed that Mary had in fact turned back to breach. I kind of knew it but was hoping.......

Well, fear swept over me but I I also had a strong sense of peace too. You know I have p;ayed that if Mary needs to be born this way - God would make it happen this way. 6:45 they are going to wheel me back. I am going to have the Dr. check me one last time just to make sure Mary isn't playing games with me, but I am okay.

I thought throughout the night that I hope anyone reading who may not know my God like I do does not get discouraged after me giving God and prayer so much praise and then she turns back. I want you to know that I am not discouraged, God has this.....and I still believe. I was not ready for Friday, any whatsoever. I am ready today. God knows me . I know he has me in the palm of his hand right now. I will have Chris remind me of this at 6:30!!
Please pray specifically for my Mom. I know she is scared and I know she didn't want this for me on top of everything else. She is my worrying Mom who has a love for her children like no other!

Keep praying like I know you will.......................

Saturday, January 12, 2008

God help us

Well, it's early Saturday morning. I am getting ready to pick up my Dad, my Sister and my Brother from the airport. My Mom is already here. They are coming from Kentucky. My in-laws from Maryland will be here tomorrow and Monday we will meet our sweet Mary Grace. You know....I know her already. I know she is precious, she is small, her little feet are crooked, one of her hands is turned down, I know she must be a gracious little thing. When she moves it is slight and gentle little kicks, she has sweet little hiccups and she has my stubborn streak, when someone puts their hand on my belly when she is so active - she immediately stops almost every time!! She's a Mommy's girl already! Can you tell I love just having her with me? God help me.
On Wed. as most of you are aware I got some good news for a change. Some news that made God and prayer so evident that I felt strong and like things were going our way. My Mom came in Thursday, we had breakfast and when we came home I showed off all the little things that my sweet friends have given to Mary Grace - some include a beautiful hope chest to keep her things, outfits, blankets, a bracelet with Mary's name on it, booties, bibles etc. I wasn't sad doing this, it was the first time since about my 13th week that I felt like we were preparing for a normal birth, a "normal" baby. It was sweet. Then Thursday night while taking a bath, reality comes back to me.....what are we preparing for - anything but "normal" ??

Yesterday what was weighing on me most was my sweet girls. They are excited for Mary's birth and I am so afraid for them. Many of our t-18 miracles have had such different stories and I know ours will follow suit. me to pray that the timing for our family, especially for Kailey and Allison, is just right. That it's just what they need, no more, no less - that it will be what their little hearts can handle. (They have medication for adults!). I pray specifically that however "it" happens that God's promise will be fulfilled in them especially, that this will work for good because my sweet little girls love him. They have the purest hearts, they have not "sinned", they do not deserve this trial - so I plead that this is something that will be a great work in them from our God, that they will learn about love, miracles, His plan, His purpose, Heaven, faith, endurance, strength, weakness, - that their hearts will be molded to serve him all the days of their lives - through this - our sweet Mary Grace, Our precious daughter and their sweet Sister. God help them.

Pray also for my neighbor's little girls, Anna and Kathryn - my friend's daughter Rachel... they all love Mary Grace too. I hate this for them. My niece is 11 and she has been saved and baptised. My Dad is a minister and she left him a note the other day at their house and told him that she was saved but had some questions, some things she didn't understand and could she talk to him sometime? So, he went and picked her up and took her for a drive......she said she didn't understand God and things like Mary Grace, and that her Sister Tara (16) has Lupus and has so many issues. Dad spoke to her and she called last night to tell me that she was praying every day for us and Mary Grace. God help them all.

You know I have tried to be as honest and open with my feelings as possible through this - I have been "real". And you know that I can not close this post without saying that through this difficult time in our lives, with all my doubts, with all my fears, with all my praises, with all my questions, with all our heartache, with all our hope and with all our disappointments.........I still know my God is faithful my God is still good. I will hold tight on to that, for that is all the hope any of us have, no matter what the situation.

Point of Grace has a new song out - It touches me. Here are the lyrics.

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes, you are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay, you are so good
With every breath I take in, I’ll tell you I’m grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight, you are good

When the road starts to turn, around each bend I’ve learned you are good, so good
And when somebody’s hand holds me up, helps me stand you are so good
With every breath I take in, I’ll tell you I’m grateful again Cause it’s more than enough just to know I am loved and you are good


When it’s dark and it’s cold, and I can’t feel my soul you are STILL good
When the world has gone gray and the rain’s here to stay you are STILL good
With every breath I take in, I’ll tell you I’m grateful again And the storm may swell, even then it is well, and you are good


Thank you my family in Christ for holding us up - we are thankful.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

There is Power in Prayer

Got some praises!! Eva's Mommy got to go home and her contractions are stable! Thank you for praying and click on my link to Eva Janette for more details.

My praise - Mary Grace is head down. I have prayed that if God knows that Mary needs to come to us via c-section that we will know that today and I will be fine with it. But...if it's not his plan right now to proceed in this way for him to turn her - and he did! So...thank you for your prayers - I have been calling Mary my little apple turn over today! It felt good to get some good news and to know that it's directly due to prayer. Mathew 21:22 And ALL things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Thank you Jesus.

So...update......The Doctor wants to give me a few more days to "get going" on my own. We are going to the hospital this Sunday night at 9 p.m. - the nurses will give me medication that will help to thin my cervix and get something started. The Dr. is coming to my room first thing Monday morning to break my water and we will have Mary Grace on Monday! (unless God wants her to come to us before then). So....this is it. I feel much more at peace with this visit today. We still have concerns that Mary may be distressed with a normal delivery and there may be a time we have to make a different decision. But I ask that you continue to pray for everything to go according to God's plan - not ours and that we will have some time with our miracle girl! I am more willing to go the c-section route if anything is stressing Mary but Chris is concerned for me and doesn't want to jump as quickly as I would. Pray for wisdom and that when anything happens and that we have to make a decision that we are on the same page.

I trust God and he has shown himself time and time again - I pray that I will continue to trust him with everything. "Lord I believe but help me with my unbelief!"
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Pray for sweet baby Eva Janette

Wanted to get my prayer warriors on their knees for Chrissy and Baby Eva. Chrissy is Eva Janette's Mommy. Eva has Trisomy 18. Chrissy is 28 weeks pregnant and went into preterm labor yesterday and was admitted into the hospital. Please pray that the labor will subside and Baby Eva will stay safe inside her Mommy's belly for a while longer to be stronger for birth.
Thank You......Kim

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


I have had so many good thoughts for blogs this week - so many that I had to start making notes of my thoughts.....because in an instance my thoughts (or mood) change and I can't express them. So this post today is simply an update because the last two days have swept me off of my feet. I got a call yesterday from a nurse to schedule a c-section for this Friday the 10th!! What!!???? So, after trying to get in touch with the nurses and to make a very long story short......I spoke with the nurse this morning who got some clarification from my Doctor. He said that our goal has been to have time with Mary and since her weight is lagging behind he is getting nervous about waiting a week more. So....we are going in tomorrow (not Thursday) to see if Mary has turned and if I am more ready for induction. If she has not turned then we will probably be having a c-section on Friday.....if she has then he will induce on Friday and see how it goes from there. Needless to say I am filled with crazy emotions. I am praying that God will help me to turn over my "control" or lack there of, and let him give the Doctors and nurses the knowledge they need and to have faith that what is going to happen is what is right for us and Mary Grace. Besides praying for a total miracle this morning - I have prayed that all the other "stuff", all the other details will be taken care of by my all mighty God who spoke this amazing world into existance - pretty sure he can handle this one!!

I will give an update tomorrow after my appointment but wanted to have you pray for my emotions today. Thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts. I'm so thankful to be a part of the family of God.

Saturday, January 5, 2008


Hello Everyone.,

This is my first entry into the blog and I wanted to acknowledge to the world how blessed and proud I am to be married to my wife. Going through this pregnancy with Mary Grace is a lot different for me then it is for Kim. I go to work and I get distracted the activities of life. No matter what Kim does there is a 20 pound bulge in her stomach which does not allow her one minute of not thinking about the future and what is going to happen. I know Kim would not have it any other way, but she has really demonstrated her faith, strength, character, and her commitment to her family throughout this process.

Thank you Kim!!!

Early in this process Kim made a decision as to how she was going to handle this pregnancy. As to whether she would move forward with trying to give birth to Mary was not ever in question. What was in question was whether to enjoy every precious second with Mary or be depressed and crawl into a hole for the next nine months. I know there are a lot of days where Kim would like to climb in a hole and not come out, but she has not. Kim’s strength and faith has made the pregnancy a blessing to this family. Believe it or not for me and the girls Kim’s attitude has really healed baby Mary’s T-18. I realize this healing may not be the reality when it is time for Mary to come into this world, but for now me and the girls are able to enjoy every minute and not think about what the future holds. I credit this blessing to Kim and the home/ family environment she has created and chosen to move forward with. Yes there are some days where Kim stays in her bath robe and does not want to deal with the world, but those days are few and far between. We just had a wonderful Christmas holiday and you would not have known there was any struggle in our lives. As usual Kim did all the shopping, 90% of the decoration, cooking and preparations. She was crawling on the floor and running around and I said I did not remember her being so active this late in the pregnancy with the other girls. As I reflect on the wonderful Christmas and New Year holiday Kim made it normal and special. There was not a time where Kim complained or was down. A great example of this was when we had friends over for a New Years Eve get together and Kim went walking through the room holding her belly crying out that she ate too much and look what happened to her belly.

Thank you Kim!!!

I know that God has been helping our family through this process and know he will continue moving forward. I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It really means a lot to our family and this has made a difficult situation better. Please continue to be with us as we get closer to Mary’s birth. As the time gets short the reality of the situation is starting to hit us all with a greater force.

Thank you Kim for being such a wonderful Mother to all of our children, incredible wife to me and such a great inspiration to all. You are the world to use and please know that we appreciate and love you with all of our heart and soul. We are here for you now and will always be here for you.

All my love,

Christopher Neil Summons

Friday, January 4, 2008

Higher Ground

Well, I can’t believe it’s 2008! 2007 is kind of a blur right now and I am so uncertain about what 2008 will be. I am thankful for so much in my life, yet feel so let down as well. It’s hard for me to complain when I do feel so blessed….blessed first to have a wonderful Savior, an awesome husband, to be a Mother of three precious girls, a wonderful family. But….I am in a season of unrest. God knows I love him and praise him for everything….but my Heavenly Father also knows me….and he knows I feel let down, scared, disappointed, hurt, angry and the list could go on and on. I do not think he would expect me not to feel those things. He created in Mothers such a strong connection and love for her children and I do not think that he wouldn’t understand our emotions when one of our children is hurt, in need or not going to be with us for long. So I do find comfort in knowing that he weeps for me, his child that is hurting.

I have read over some old posts that I have printed out from Copeland’s Mommy and Maddox’s Mommy, and others that help me daily and it reminds me again….these children have and will continue to serve a higher purpose than we could ever know. They have ministered and have shared Jesus and will touch more people in their sweet short lives than most people who are here for a long lifetime. I again, want to praise Jesus for everyone who has been willing to share their story and heartache so that I could somehow find my way through this. Thank you for sharing Jesus to the world and thank you for allowing God to work through you.

I wanted to give everyone an update. I had my weekly Dr. visit yesterday and everything looked the same (which is a good thing I think). The Dr. said that he wanted me to come back next week (Thursday the 10th) and that he may decide to induce me on Friday or Saturday. So…I could meet Mary Grace in a week! He may hold off until the 17th but expressed fear of waiting too much longer and does not want to take any chances. Please pray that she will turn from the breach position, that my body will be more ready for induction and that the Doctor and nurses will have the wisdom they need to move forward and help us to make the right decisions. I have had a pretty down day, I am scared…not only of the unknown but the known. I do not want to be without my sweet Mary Grace and I fear that time is coming. I fear I will not come back from this. So…I know so many of you are praying for these fears and I ask that you continue to do so. I need you all and praise God for each of you. Continue to pray for my family, my girls and my friends who are going through this type of thing with me. I have been singing an old hymn to myself today and want to share the words with you…………

I’m pressing on the upward way,New heights I’m gaining every day;Still praying as I onward bound,“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up and let me stand,By faith, on heaven’s table land,A higher plane than I have found;Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

My heart has no desire to stayWhere doubts arise and fears dismay;Though some may dwell where those abound,My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.
I want to live above the world,Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;For faith has caught the joyful sound,The song of saints on higher ground.
I want to scale the utmost height,And catch a gleam of glory bright;But still I’ll pray till heaven I’ve found,“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up and let me stand,By faith, on heaven’s table land,A higher plane than I have found;Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.