My Dream.....

I had a dream last night about Mary and it was not the first time I have had it, so it has tugged on my heart to share it.

I dreamed that I was pregnant with quadruplets (and nobody knew – not even the doctors!) and all 4 babies had T-18. Three of the babies decided to get together and take all the 3rd 18th chromosomes for themselves and let Mary live! Mary was the one that was the most kind in the womb – she moved over for the others, made them feel more comfortable and gave them kisses. They also heard and felt all the prayers that were specific to Mary because she was the only one we knew about. Mary was born perfect and healthy and the Doctors were astonished. Then I started to give birth to the other babies who did not make it. The Doctor then realized that they were the ones reading positive for t-18 but Mary was perfect!! I obviously mourned for the three babies but I didn’t realize I had them to begin with and Mary was going to get to stay with us. We were the .01%!! The Doctors didn’t give God the credit for a miracle they just said it was the other babies who had it all along. I shouted out that God had healed Mary and that he took the t-18 from her body and gave it to the ones who were willing to be sacrificed.
When I woke up – I lay there and thought about this dream and the possibility of it. Can you imagine the joy?!!

I started thinking about all the hidden meanings I could take from this dream. The first thought was Jesus. The ultimate sacrifice. God gave his only son to suffer and die so that all of us could have the hope of eternity in Heaven, living in perfection. And Jesus willingly stepped down from his throne to die for us. If it had only been me on this earth – he would have still died for me. Thank you Jesus.
Then I thought why is Mary even still with me today. She is already beating the odds. She is with me first because God’s timing is perfect but also I think because she has more people to touch. She in a sense is being sacrificed to somehow, someway have Jesus and God be revealed and glorified to someone. I have always been a “good” Christian. I have loved the Lord for years and have always tried to be what he wanted me to be. But I could have never witnessed and been a testimony for God the way that I have been able to be this year without my precious daughter Mary. I have always been a Christian who has lived this life mostly by faith and feelings but have never really been knowledgeable enough of the bible to feel comfortable testifying about God – I just talk more about my feelings and not the facts. But now and the age of 37 God has given me something, something more powerful than me, something more powerful than I could have ever come up with on my own, and I pray that I make him proud through this trial. I pray that I make Mary Grace proud, she deserves the best from me, the best of this crummy circumstance because she and God have given me my dream, my 3rd Daughter and I will always be her Mom. My little girl Mary will do more and will touch more people than most living on this earth. I am so proud of her!! I will not "waste" this opportunity, I will not have this be for nothing. I love her and God too much and am too grateful to let Satan win any aspect of this battle. We are more than conquerers with Jesus on our side.

We had a session today with two wonderful photographers from the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep foundation. They were photographing the girls hugging my belly and kissing Mary Grace like they do every night before bed. And I realized that I will have a record of this, not just from my heart and my memory, but for others to see that I am a Mother of 3 precious girls and that we are and will always be a family of five. Now abides faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love and I am full up!!