Sunday, September 14, 2008

8 months since I held my sweet Mary Grace

I can't believe it's been eight months since I held my precious 3 lb 15oz baby girl. Yet, it seems like a life time ago. I know I haven't posted an update about how I am doing and am really not quite with it tonight to do so, but I wanted you to remember my baby girl with me today. I still have my really hard days but to be honest, they feel good to me at times. Good to feel the realness of Mary Grace and her presence in my life, if that even makes sense. Thursday was particularly hard, not sure why, it wasn't a Monday - or the 14th which are the "typical" hard days, but I cried harder than I had in months and it was a relief actually - except for the major headache that followed:)

Let me just say that through it all - through the heart ache, the tears, the empty arms that literally ache, the heaviness of it all.....God is here. God is with us every step of the way. He is still good and I am grateful every minute of every day that He chose such a person as me to be that precious girl's Mommy. Mary Grace is perfect and when we sang this hymn in church this morning.......I am reminded that I long for Heaven even more......and I know He knows my heart, it's not just to see Jesus, Grandma Hazlett, Grandma Allen, Papaw or Grandpa Sisldorf or the others I've longed to see.....it is to see my Mary Grace, I will run to her first and I know He will understand.

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
'twill be my joy through the ages
to sing of his love for me.

How marvelous how wonderful
and my song shall ever be
How marvelous how wonderful
is my Savior's love for me

I got a response from Kenzie today. She is safe, she is at home with family and is doing well. She had a hard day of contractions yesterday but hardly any today! Keep on praying like I know you will. God is our refuge and strength, our very help!!!

12 comments:

Baby Jacob said...

I know her and Jacob are celebrating thier birthday together as well as Mary Grace's "home going"....I love you, sweet friend....you and your family hold such a sweet place in my heart...when I think the someone who is "sweet" you define it perfectly.

Karen Fahmer
fahmer.blogspot.com

boltefamily said...

Praying for you today Kim. I tried to send you a text message last night but I guess I have the wrong number because the person texted back "wrong number hon" so ?

Anyway, I just want you to know I am thinking of you and am praying!

Love,
Kristy

Emily said...

I'm praying for you, sweet Kim. It is good to hear from your heart and it blesses mine to pause and just cherish sweet Mary Grace with you for a moment. What a wonder that girl is! :) I love you and I'm still carrying your mat. And I'm glad to see that Ike has left you alone. :)

Anonymous said...

Just dropping by to tell you I am thinking of you and continuing to pray for you. Love you
Ashley Webb

Just Me said...

Sending you prayers tonight. Sweet Mary Grace definitely holds a special place in my heart, as do you.

Take care,
Amanda

Laurie in Ca. said...

Praying for you Kim and remembering sweet Mary Grace with you. You are so right, she is perfect and has a special place in my heart. My prayers continue for you as God is still good and faithfully bringing you through moment by moment. You are a wonderful mommy Kim, and I love you alot.

Love and Hugs, Laurie in Ca.
PS. Thanks for the news on Kenzie. I have been praying like crazy for them and will continue.

Yvette said...

Kim,

I hope you got the email I sent last night - just wanted you to know that I was thinking and praying for you in that it was the "14th" and that you had been heavy on my heart all day. It was so good talking to you last week. Miss you sweet friend!

Love, Yvette

The VW's said...

I'm saying a prayer for you right now. God Bless You sweet friend!

Stacy@hiswaynotmine said...

Remembering Mary Grace with you today and praising God for how He has poured out His love and grace upon you as you walk the paths of mourning... may He continue to give you the "oil of Joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..." Isaiah 61:3 May you continue to feel God surround you in His mighty ways.
In Christ's love-Stacy

Kirsten said...

Kim,

Thanks for the update on you and Kenzie. Your post is beautiful and I can relate to your words so deeply. You are in my prayers. What a blessing to know that you all are safe from the storm. Hugs to you today and every day.

Blessings,
Kirsten

Anonymous said...

Kim, you are always on my heart every day. I think of Mary Grace every moment of the day, and I will, until Jesus takes me home where I can kiss that precious nose. mouth, ears, and tell her how much I love her, amd how proud of the time he gave her to us. I held her and kissed her for the last time here on earth when we went home to Ky. .I have lost a precios part of me. Only God can fullfill that longing. I am waiting patiently. I know someday that will happen, and he says in his word he will never leave us or forsake us. He also tells us he will not put anything on us that we can not bear, and I beleive God's word. He is faithfull and just. You are a wonderful daughter, and when you are sad I am sadder. I look at you and know that I have done some things right. That is the way I feel about all of my children, I am not boasting, I am giving God All the credit. All My Love Mama

Anxious AF said...

What beautiful words.
praying for you.